So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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