And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
