note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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