i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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