I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
There are leaves in my underwear?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
