omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Randomize
