Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
