I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
