it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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