The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
