he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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