I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
she pinky promised me she was 18
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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