Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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