that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Randomize
