Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
