dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
