closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Randomize
