Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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