I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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