similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Randomize
