Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
