Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
