If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Randomize
