the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Randomize
