It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
