Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
