she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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