sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
