I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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