I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
