well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
