Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
