You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Randomize
