why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
