hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
We left the knife in your bed.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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