I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
