oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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