she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
