You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
