Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
