Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
wow bdsm is so cute
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
