i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
