i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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