clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
