We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
