I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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