We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
