so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
it's great music for shaving your balls
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize
