So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
