i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
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