sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
